The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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