I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
