I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Randomize
