I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
