she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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