i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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