the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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