the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
they need to just BURY HIM!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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