That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
