i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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