i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Let's get the cat blown out
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
