Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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