Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
