so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
