Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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