I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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