I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
