Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
