no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
