some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
