This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
