yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
