don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
