she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
