I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
