I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
