Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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