It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
