let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
