I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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