Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
