Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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