Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
