Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
