her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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