if you like me you must not know who I am
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
