she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
