The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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