He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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