Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
