I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
