she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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