it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize