So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my sisters under your porch take her home
Everything about him screamed your future.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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