I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
