Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
