I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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