Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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