At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize