I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
