do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Randomize
