i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
