I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
