the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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