Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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