You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it's great music for shaving your balls
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
