His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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