yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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