im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize