I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
