I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize