And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
50% drunk capacity currently
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
