I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
