so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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