Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
