who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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