Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
