we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
