Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
