And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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