So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
