I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
