the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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