That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
