i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And then my night got REAL pukey
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
